The Girl in The Shadows
by WynterExpress
Summary: His name was Jacob Black, and he belonged to everyone else except me. To Quil, to Embry, even to Sam Uley. Most importantly, above all else, he belonged to Bella Swan. No matter how much I love him, she still has his heart, unknowingly, locked away. OC.
1. Prologue

**The Girl in The Shadows**

For my whole life I had been in love with him. From the moment I first set eyes on him I just knew, even at the age of six, that he was the one for me, the only one for me. I watched from a distance as he grew up and became everything he could be, everything he was supposed to be, but he never noticed me there, standing in the shadows, not that I ever expected him to.

His name, was Jacob Black, and he was never mine, no matter how much my heart believed so. He belonged to everyone else, except me, it seemed. To Quil, to Embry, to Sam Uley even. But most importantly, above all else, he belonged to Bella Swan.

I watched him fall deeper and deeper into the abyss of love, only thinking of her hypnotizing eyes and long, sultry hair. I felt his pain, when she walked away with that strange pale face from Forks. I even waited then, still, as he continued to run after her time and time again. I truly believed in him. I believed that no matter what, he would come to love me, he would see me there, in the shadows.

He never really did move on from Bella. She had cut him too deep, hurt him too much that even he didn't understand, couldn't understand, refused to understand, exactly why she had to go. To her, he was never hers, and she was never his. Her heart had been taken long before he could ever stake claim to it, but he remained persistent, like the boy I had always known him as. He never gave up, and he never would.

Only once, did he ever turn to me, only once, did he ever notice the girl standing in the shadows.

"My name is Rainie," It was the only thing I had ever said to him, and the only thing I ever would. I owed that much to myself now, to _her_ now.

He ran into my arms only once, and only once was I allowed to relish his warmth, hear his heartbeat, feel his touch, smell his sweet breath. Only once was I ever allowed to whisper those three sweet words after he had fallen asleep.

He was torn, my beautiful , fragile Jacob was torn into so many pieces and some of them were never to be found again, he would never be whole again. It was only after that night, his one mistake, my one mistake, did I realize this. He would never be _my_ Jacob again, he would never smile at everyone, he would never be carefree. He would never remember my name, even, judging by the alcohol on his breath.

My Jacob was gone from the moment he saw her doe-like eyes, the moment he heard her speak, the moment he thrust his heart in her unknowing hands; and although for one night, he may have been mine, for one night, he looked into _my_ eyes and told _me_ he loves me, I knew not to believe in that charade. I may love him, oh God, how I do love him, but his heart can't even register such an emotion anymore.

She still has his heart, unknowingly, locked with the key around her neck. That heart was far too valuable to be touched, to be held by a girl like me, the girl in the shadows.

Maybe one day he'll understand everything that I truly felt for him and maybe one day he will be about to move on and love again, even if it is not with me. Maybe one day I can introduce him to the girl that will surely change his world, to Jude Black.

His one mistake, but my one solace.

His daughter.

**A/n It's a bit depressing but it just came to me and I had to let it out. I'm thinking about continuing with a follow up story about it, maybe. But that won't be happening any time soon, I've got a "film" (I.e. patchy home-movie for the fun of it) to be shot in a few weeks time and exams next week AND yes, I **_**AM**_** going to finish F.I.O.A.G.W.D.Y. So taa-taa and tell me what you think!**


	2. 1

**The Girl in The Shadows.**

**|…1…|**

When I was six years old I was convinced that nothing in my life could possibly go right. My father had left me, and my mother, struggling to survive on her already low wages so that he could go with that pretty lady I always saw sneaking out of the house when mom wasn't around.

We could barely afford the necessities anymore, let alone stupid, childish things like toys and candy. I grew up too fast, but I learnt not to complain. Complaining was for the weak, and I had to be strong for mom, to show my father what a mistake he was making.

My mom pulled me out of school that year too. Even though the reservation's school was small and already falling to pieces, the tuition was still too high for her to pay. Instead of working harder for my education, she opted to take me away from my friends, my escape from my real life and keep me home, home-schooling me when she wasn't at work or knocked out cold with a bottle of booze in her hands.

I never hated my mother though, no matter how much mistakes she made, seemingly one after the other. I never could hate her. My father had broken her somehow, she was no longer the woman who had once woke me up, smiling and cheerful, making pancakes over our small stove. She was still my mother, yes, and underneath the hard liquor and slowly graying hair, I knew she still loved me, but she just couldn't process my needs right now, she was too busy trying to fix her own heart.

Never complaining, I made it through the year, barely, just barely. I watched as my friends forgot me, as they moved on without me. I lived in complete isolation now, I never left the house except to go into town to get groceries with my mother when she was in one of her better moods. Everyone seemed to forget the sad, little girl who seemed to always be out of place. Everyone looked through the family that was in need of help, they just ignored us. I always will hate them for that.

I vowed to never speak to a single soul from that selfish reservation ever again. They weren't worth my words, however few I knew. My mother sank deeper and deeper into the hole she had dug for herself the moment my father had stepped through the door for the final time but there was nothing I could do but watch, there was nothing I would do but watch.

When you're little you're supposed to be carefree, to feel like the world is at your feet and there's nothing you can't do but I never was able to feel that joy. It always felt like the world was on my shoulders, dragging me down, whispering in my ear about my failures, my faults.

So I ran away.

It seemed to be the only thing I could do. I didn't go very far, only to the little beach that I had always loved. I wondered if my father would ever be able to carry me here, if he would even remember that he had a daughter to carry to this beautiful place. I doubted that my own mother even knew that I was gone, let alone, where to look for me.

The beach was empty, except for the stray tourist capturing each moment of the picturesque sunset that took place over the horizon. It was getting colder now, not even my thin, worn sweater could save me from the night I was about to endure. The sun had almost disappeared by now, I would be alone here, in the dark, but I had always been alone, even when someone else was around.

The first moment I saw him, everything seemed to change. My whole perspective on life, on my trials, everything just vanished as I watched this boy, carefree, like how I was supposed to be, running down to the water's edge. His father and mother were watching him, smiles on their faces, and I felt something tug at my heart. He was so lucky, to have people who cared for him and believed in him.

He had this odd grace about him that made him so beautiful to watch. As his hands reached down to tip the water's surface he smiled, he never stopped smiling, once and eventually, I found myself smiling along with him, feeling his joy as he danced and skipped around, his parents chasing after him. This was the life that I had once had, the life that I missed, dearly so.

For one second, he seemed to realize that someone was watching him, and he stopped, looking at me. His eyes were the most stunning shade of brown that I had ever seen. They would be the eyes that I would see every moment that I was awake and the final thing I would see before my final breath was taken from me.

They seemed to see right into my soul, which was a very hard thing to feel at the age of six. At that moment I felt completely vulnerable to the world and all of its elements, but I knew that with this boy standing beside me, everything would be OK, because he had the power to make it so. His parents seemed to realize that their son had stopped his gallivanting, and, wondering what he was so perplexed about, followed his gaze, finding me.

They came to me, slowly, as if scared I may be frightened and run away, but I didn't move, instead, I stayed stock still. Would they take me home too, and treat me like how my mother would never be able to treat me again?

"Are you alone?" The father asked lowly. I nodded slowly, hesitantly reaching out towards the hand that he had outstretched towards me. They helped me up, and even carried me home to my mother, already tipsy but still sober enough to realize the gravity of the situation. She sent me straight up to bed, so that she could speak to, lie to, these kind-hearted people and push them out of our life before they could even get their foot in the door to help.

I wasn't allowed any dinner that night, but even through the hunger I knew that I would survive. He was the one thing to keep me going, he gave me hope that maybe everything could work out for me and that I could be as happy as he was some day.

So for now, I would sit in my room, wary of the world and its inhabitants but someday, I would return the favour to him. I would give him the hope and strength that he would need to move on from whatever ordeals he may face. I would protect him from the world when I grew up, I knew it, I was convinced of it.

Nothing was going to ruin his innocence, nothing would ever hurt him.

Not if I could help it.

**A/n So I actually got myself out of bed at three a.m. because I could sleep to write this. Now I think I'm going to roll over and go back to sleep now. Another chapter of F.I.O.A.G should be up later today! Review if you love me, Rainie, Jacob (and all his lovely hotness) or anything really!!**


	3. 2

**The Girl in The Shadows**

**|…2…|**

There were so many times that I couldn't save him. Him. The boy who had stolen my heart with one glance, who had my complete devotion without even knowing he had gained such a gift. I never knew his name, not once, did I even consider asking those around him, who reveled in his glory, who worshipped him and praised him, for a name.

Even nameless he would still be the most important thing to me, he would be my world and I would watch him willingly make another world for himself with another girl because his happiness was what drove me now, it was what made me.

He always was surrounded now, by girls, boys, even the elders seemed to respect him and his family. I never, ever considered introducing myself, getting closer from the distance I had purposefully placed between us. I was dangerous, I could drag him down into my deep crevice of unhappiness given the chance, and I would not allow that to happen. Not as long as I lived.

But it always hurt me, whenever he would fall, how I could not step out and lend him a helping hand. How I could not brush the tears away when his mother passed, or help him deal with his now disabled father. I always felt frustrated now, as I just sat there and watched his world go by, never wondering what it would be like to be a part of his world. Being a part of anything seemed to be such a foreign concept to me now.

It had been years now, since we had first fatefully met, and like everyone else in the world, he had forgotten about me, the girl who had watched him play on a beach that forever ago. He had made friends, over the years, good friends, the kind that would stick by you no matter what, the kind that I always wished I had when I needed someone to turn to.

It was these friends, that eased my worry, because now I knew that he would never be alone, and that he would always have somebody to turn to, and that made me happy.

These feelings, these emotions that I felt towards him, were too great, too deeply incomprehensible. I was irrevocably in love with him although we had never spoken a word to each other, although I had never been acknowledged in his presence.

It was unbelievably pure and true, which terrified me sometimes, I knew I would die for him if I had to, I would die for this stranger without him ever knowing my name, without even playing a role in his life.

I was just a stranger to him, too. He had never seen me, as far as he could remember. I was like a ghost, a guardian angel, always around to protect him, but invisible to everyone, even to the one I loved the most. It never angered me, though, that he could not see me. I did not deserve to be seen by a creature so innocent, so beautiful as himself. I just never thought the day he would meet his world would come so soon.

I was not prepared to have him taken so early, I knew I should have stopped looking for him once I saw him with that pale faced girl from the other town, Forks. I should have left him, let him flourish in his happiness. That smile he had when he fixed his car with nobody around, that was caused by his thoughts of her. He was enraptured by her smell, her touch, just like I was with him, just like how I would always be if I did not give up this addiction.

I tried my hardest to let go, to return to my rotting home, to my drunken mother. I needed to focus on my life for once, I needed to get an education, a job. I needed to do so many things, but I never did. The way he would look at her haunted me, taunted me. She never looked at him the same way.

There was something wrong there and no matter how much I tried to leave, to regain some semblance of the life I had left to wither away by itself, I was always drawn back to him, pulled by a gravitational force that only I felt, only I knew about. So even though I would work, I would pay for my own education, there were still those moments late at night where I would wander to his house, and listen to the sound of his hushed whispers mingling with hers in the silent night.

"Won't you just give me a chance, Bella?" He would always ask, and always, I would pray, please give him a chance, please let him be happy, but she never did.

One night, they got into an argument, I stayed there, terrified, on the side of the garage just listening to him getting angrier and angrier and her getting more and more upset. It was explosive and it took everything in my power not to beg her to leave, to leave him alone so that he could get over her, heal the wounds that were slowly starting to form over his guiltless heart.

"Jacob, I can't do this," She replied one night before walking away. Jacob. That was his name. I couldn't even try it on my tongue. My lips would not move to form the name of this boy, the boy who had stolen my heart and given his away without thought. He soon stormed out after the girl, Bella, but by that time she was long gone. He paused, thinking as he ran a hand through his long, dark tresses. I found myself wanting to step closer, to touch them for myself just to see if they were as silky as they appeared.

One step. He span around, facing me. I did not return to the shadows fast enough. He followed me, as I took off down the worn path that I, myself, had created every time I dared to step closer beyond the invisible boundary.

"Wait!" He called after me, but wait I did not. I left him there, that night. He had gotten a glimpse of me. Not enough to remember me, but he knew I existed now he knew someone was there, watching over him. He may not have loved me but he knew I existed.

I was contented enough with that.

**A/n I'm getting more and more depressed as I write this. Does anyone else realize that there's not much talking in this or is it just me? Review if you want to!**


	4. 3

**The Girl in The Shadows**

**|…3…|**

Jacob would _never_ be a monster in my eyes. It didn't matter if he was seen to be a vicious, volatile creature in the eyes of anyone else, but the true constant in my mind, was that he was nothing more than a victim to the curse that had been passed down by our ancestors. Curse, it could never be considered a blessing, the pain he was forced to go through.

I had been shocked at first, to see him, in his…different form, but I never resented him, I was never scared of him. It was something that he could not control and I understood that, no matter how much I wanted not to. My mind told me that this wasn't right, it wasn't _normal_, what he could do, what they all could do, but my heart always overruled rational thinking.

It was the perfect escape, the perfect opportunity laid out before me, he was no longer the perfect Jacob I had come to admire, no, he was now tinged, a bit darker, but when I saw him, both sides of him, any darkness I had clung onto like a safety raft disappeared.

This curse, even though it had changed him and his perspective of the world, sometimes, when no one except myself was looking, I could find the smallest trace of the old Jacob, he was still there, he had not completely disappeared. He had just grown up.

He was all alone now. He was slowly pushing everyone away, his father, his brothers, everyone. Bella, even _she_ had not been around for weeks and he was paying the ultimate price. I could almost taste his pain on the tip of my tongue as he just lay there, staring up at the night sky. I crouched lowly in a bush, not too far off, watching him, just watching him as I always did.

I wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him. He was so sure that he could make it alone, but he needed someone, Jacob, the one I had come to know, always pretended that he did not need a helping hand, a helpful ear, when he could not figure things out for himself.

"It hurts so much," He whispered softly to the stars, all listening with baited breath. He could do that to people, pull them along by the thinnest thread without even knowing. It was what he did to me. "I miss her so much."

My heart clenched, but I ignored the selfish thing. _She_ made him happy, not me, who was I to say who could or could not help him, love him? I breathed deeply, shifting only slightly, trying to ease the ache in my heart that only seemed to increase every time I was near him, every time I heard him speak. He paused, tensing, before sitting up, glancing in my direction causing me to still.

I had been so careless, of course he would have been able to hear me! His senses only increased with these passing days. My heart palpitated in my chest; thump, thump, thump as I stared silently into those deep, brown orbs of sadness.

He knew I was here now, he could see me, he could sense me. What would he do? Should I run? No, I would not run, I would never run from him. Eventually my heart-rate stilled, returning to its normal pace as I realized that he was not doing anything. He merely returned to his previous position, slightly amused, dare I say it.

"I have to keep her safe, though," He muttered aloud. For the briefest moment I contemplated the idea of him actually _talking_ to me, one-sided, obviously, I had forgotten the use of speech long ago, but I threw away the thought immediately. Impossible. "I'm dangerous, no one should be around somebody like me."

Before I could help myself a sound of indignation rose to my throat. My eyes widened into large saucers. What on earth had I done. Jacob did not seem astonished, however.

"You don't agree with me then?" He said, amused. "I'm used to that, though, people not agreeing with me."

We both sat there in silence, not exactly knowing what to do. For the first time in years I felt at peace, being so near to someone who actually recognized my existence. He knew I was here. He knew someone was watching over him.

A twig snapped in the distance and I turned, alarmed. There were dangerous things in these woods, now. All of the legends had to be true, _cold ones_ could be lying, waiting for us, watching us just as I had been watching Jacob. I stumbled to my feet at the thought, backing away from the noise, we needed to get away from here, now.

Jacob, surprised at my sudden appearance, arose as well.

"It's _you_ again!" Oh God, he recognized me. I began to fumble my way back further, distressed as he became closer. No one ever willingly approached me anymore. I knew how this must have looked. My hair had to reach my waist by now, all caked with mud and leaves, my face streaked with dirt. I was more of an animal than he would ever be.

"No, don't worry, I won't hurt you," He reached out towards me but I flinched.

I wanted to assure him, let him know that it wasn't him I was afraid of, but what I could do to him, I did not know how to act around civilization anymore. One drunken woman did not constitute for humanity, I had quit school ages ago now.

"What's your name?" He asked softly. I paused. He seemed to be genuinely curious.

"My name is Rainie," I replied, my voice hoarse from disuse. He seemed amazed that he had been able to even elicit an answer from me.

"Rainie," He tried the name on his tongue and I barely repressed the immense joy I felt as I stared back up at him. Something had changed in his eyes now. That deep, lingering sadness, it was no longer there. No, it was something else, something I had never seen before.

"I'm Jacob," He said slowly, trying to ease closer. My heart beat faster once again, but I stayed where I was, I wasn't going to run anymore. That pull was keeping me here now, it was stronger than ever before.

As he kneeled down in front of me, hand outstretched, I did the one thing I had sworn to myself I would never do. I crossed that line, and took his hand.

"I know."

**A/n So, last night I was up trying to figure out how to exactly timeline this thing but then I just decided to screw it and go with the flow : ) Tell me what you think!**


	5. 4

**The Girl In The Shadows**

**|…4…|**

The bright lights assaulted my eyes as Jacob led me inside, his hand gently grasping my wrist and sending trills up my arms every few seconds. To be touched in such a kind way by _him_ alone made me feel so vulnerable and breakable. He could easily snap me into pieces if I so much as made one wrong move, but I knew that he would not do that, he was far too kind to ever do something like that.

Inside the Black household, I felt so out of place with my scruffy appearance and ill-kept mannerisms. I didn't belong here, and that fact was painfully obvious to anyone who happened to be looking in on our situation. Why he had taken me here of all places, I could not comprehend. He could have taken me anywhere else, to First Beach, to the cliff, anywhere, but he took me into his own home, and I was beginning to question his reasoning.

"Sit anywhere you like," He finally said, his voice soft and gentle. He had taken this tone with Bella so many times before. I glanced around the room swiftly, before my gaze rested back on him doubtfully. Being here was so horribly wrong of me. I had to go. I had interfered too much in his life already, he was never supposed to know me, to notice me, I had promised I'd never interfere. His hand reached out towards me as I took who steps back.

"Don't-please don't be afraid of me," He pleaded, his eyes showing his fear. Those eyes would be his downfall one day, they could never hide the truth. He did not understand that it wasn't fear that was holding me back, but my need for his happiness. I couldn't, I shouldn't be the one to make him happy. "Please."

He looked so worn and tired that I faltered, just for one moment, but that was all he needed. He took my hand once again, leading me through a dimly lit hallway and forcing open a door which presumably led to his room. There was only one small bed in the corner, a bed too small for him, at least, and his clothes were strewn messily on the floor.

"Sorry about the mess," He mumbled, a slight flush on his cheeks but I barely smiled, standing awkwardly in the dark room. He reached to flick the switch but I caught his hand before he could reach it. He eyed me curiously and it was only then that I realized I had unconsciously touched him. Pulling my hand back, nursing the hand gently, as it still stung from his scorching heat, I decided that I needed to explain at least a little.

"The light, it hurts my eyes," I croaked, "I-I'm not used to it."

He nodded, his hand going back down to his sides. He took a seat on his bed slowly and she noted the bags that formed around his eyes. He had been working so hard lately, throwing his all into taking care of everyone else that he had probably neglected his own personal needs.

"You don't talk much, do you?" He asked with a soft chuckle. I merely shook my head, my lips pursed. He was so self-sacrificing. He laid down, his muscles unclenching and a sigh escaping his lips. "If I close my eyes for a moment, you won't run away, right?"

I shook my head slowly, watching him as he fell into a much needed sleep. Only when his breathing was completely even did I approach him, kneeling beside him and moving his matted hair from his face. Up close he became so much more beautiful, and I never, ever wanted to leave his side, but I knew I would have to eventually.

I hadn't lied. I wouldn't run away, I'd walk, and I'd never be too far away if he ever needed my help, which would be highly unlikely. I sat there watching him sleep, for hours almost, the sky became lighter and lighter until finally I could see the sun from his bedroom window. I could hear his father shuffling about, completing his usual morning tasks and my heart clenched.

This was so painfully normal, it was the life I had always longed to have, but it would never be mine. Jacob would never really understand just how lucky he was. Faintly, I made out the familiar purr of a very loud engine and scrambled to my feet. Bella was here.

Taking as much care as I could, I climbed over Jacob and out of his bedroom window without so much as shifting the boy. Luck was certainly on my side today. I waited, breathing deeply as I sat underneath the window. I heard Bella rush into the room and falter as she saw the sleeping boy, no doubt as endeared by the sight as I was.

She relayed a message to Jacob's father before speeding off again and I wobbled to my feet, deciding that now was the prime time to go. As I reached the tree line I heard someone calling after me.

"Rainie!"

I glanced back, out of an old habit, and saw Jacob frantically searching his surroundings from his bedroom window. It was only a moment before his eyes locked with mine and I stood there, planted on the spot. He seemed to be so hurt that I lied, so I did the only thing I knew how to do, the only thing I believed could solve this situation. I ran.

And I prayed that Jacob Black would never have to see me again. God could at least give him that much.

**A/n It's been a while since I updated, yeah? And just so you know, just because he looked at her differently doesn't necessarily mean 'imprint', she hasn't experienced a lot of good things in her life. Just remember that.**


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